Star Wars Episode ?!
by DG
Summary: The title says Star Wars, but it's really a Star Wars/Space Cases/Digimon+ a little bit of origaninality. Basically, it's here to make you laugh. R&R. Those from Pojo's know who DG and VACA are.


*It was a fine day on Coruscant. The weather was...well, the weather was controlled by the government, so nuff said about that! :b DG, VACA, Cat, Ani, and Siri were having practice lightsaber duels.*  
  
DG: *Blocking blasts* Hah! Hah! Hah! Want some more of dis?  
  
Cat: *Sarcastically* Oh, I'm so frightened. *Sends a blast hurling at VACA- Just as something bad happened*  
  
VACA casually deflected the blast as Dash Rendar came running in, panting for breath *VACA's note: Hmm... shouldn't have given that guy the key...*  
  
Dash: DG, VACA, Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewie need your help!  
  
DG: *Deactivating lightsaber* So what else is new? (  
  
Ani: The republic? *Siri hits Ani on the head with a frying pan*  
  
Cat: What are we waiting for? Oh, and Dash? Gimme that key. Come on. *Dash gives Cat the key, Cat gives the key to VACA*  
  
*VACA shoots a nasty look at Dash, then everyone took the hyper-vator ( VACA's creation; takes anyone directly to my garage) down to where Dash had parked the Outrider (again, shouldn't have given him the key).  
  
VACA: Can we stop by the bay orbiting Coruscant? The repairs on my X-Wing should be finished by now.  
  
VACA: All right, then we're going straight to Bespin.  
  
DG: Ah, do we have to go to Bespin again?  
  
Cat: Hey, they figured they'd be safer in the clouds.  
  
Ani: Oy. Lover's quarrel.  
  
VACA: Say, I've never been to Bespin...ok, I have, once, but it was an urgent mission and Han wouldn't let me go anywhere...next time I saw him, he was frozen...  
  
*we arrive at the bay*  
  
VACA: Oh good, my X-wing's good as new!  
  
DG: And there's the Crysta.  
  
Cat: I promise not to stuff you into another locker on the Crysta.  
  
DG: *Lets out breath*  
  
Ani: Sheesh. *Grabs keys*  
  
Siri: I call shotgun!  
  
VACA: Well then, let's go!  
  
*We all speed to Bespin, only to find our heroes trapped by none other than...*  
  
DG: Why does IG-88 always do this? I knew I should've grabbed the Milliunium Falcon.  
  
Cat: VACA, blast him.  
  
Siri: Correction. VACA, get over here! There's a Spung Killcruiser droping out of hyperspace right behind VACA!  
  
Ani: It's a trap!  
  
VACA: *just as she dodges laser blasts* That was too close! Everyone, stay  
  
together, we're not going to run from this one!  
  
Siri: Right, like you "didn't run" from Yavin...  
  
VACA: That was different! Ok everybody, attack formation! Fly above them! DG, Dash, Cat, try and bring down the Killcruiser. Siri, Ani and I will go after that pile of spare parts... :)  
  
*IG-88 goes into hyperspace, VACA, Siri, and Ani follow him*  
  
Dash: Come back, you idiot! Ah well, does this mean I can have her apartment?  
  
Cat: Is all anyone ever thinks about VACA's apartment? *fires at Killcruiser*  
  
DG: *fires, Killcruiser explodes* That was almost too easy...something tells me that wasn't what we thought it was.  
  
Dash: Hey! I'm getting a transmission from VACA!  
  
VACA: *breaking up* Im...on his tail...Ani...Siri...he's heading  
  
towards...*breaks up completely*  
  
DG, Cat and Dash: o_O  
  
DG: This is not good.  
  
Cat: You got that right.  
  
Dash: Can I have her apartment now? *DG and Cat do the anime fall*  
  
*VACA contacts DG via telepathy*  
  
VACA: DG, it looks like we made a long jump. My map says we're in the Outer Rim, I'm guessing somewhere-and there it is now! Sando Aquas, is that a sight! Tatooine rising! Oh...Siri says her comp is locked on IG-88. Looks like he's heading for Tatooine. You'd better get the crew (Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie) and jump over here pronto!  
  
DG: Right. Dash, I have a job for ya. Go check out the planet Pleck. We have an ally there. Ask for Blu. *Dash nods then leaves*  
  
Cat: I've never heard of Pleck.  
  
DG: I made it up.  
  
Cat: Smooth move. C'mon. Let's get to Bespin and pick up Han, Leia, Luke, Chewie, Threepio, and Artoo.  
  
*Five hours later*  
  
Leia: They did what?  
  
DG: They followed that old bucket of bolts is headed for Tatooine. I have a feeling the Spung are using bounty hunters to capture us. *Ship rocks*  
  
Luke: Good theory. It's Bossk.  
  
DG: Just what we needed.  
  
*VACA contacts DG with her comm*  
  
VACA: DG, I've finally gotten this thing fixed. I'm in Mos Relars, close to the equator. From what Siri tells me, IG was flying like he had engine failure, and he seems to have crashed in the desert somewhere.  
  
Ani: DG, I'm going out to look for him. VACA and Siri are going to stay here because we sensed the presence of another Jedi here.  
  
Siri: I'm going to see if they'll help us.  
  
VACA: I'm going...to hang around here and get something to eat! lol Whoa! DG, who just attacked you? Wait for it...Bossk! Bounty hunter field day, I suppose.  
  
Siri: But why would the Spung want us THIS bad?  
  
Ani: I gotta know!!  
  
VACA: DG, you need to meet up with us NOW! We need your help! GET OVER HERE- *comm blanks out* *comm fades back in*AAAHHHH!!!! WHAT THE-*comm blanks out**comm in* DG-GET-HERE-FORGET BOSSK*comm out*  
  
DG: *Over explosions* Gee, I'd love to forget Bossk, but he just blew out our hyperdrive! Chewie! Get down to the engine room and fix the thing!  
  
Chewie: Roar, roar, roar. *Chewie goes to the engine room*  
  
DG: VACA, You and Siri need to find that Jedi. Ani, crush the rust pile's body.  
  
Ani: Gotcha!  
  
VACA: Ok, IG's history. Poor droid, didn't have a chance against our  
  
lightsabers...:)  
  
Siri: I feel something...  
  
VACA: What? Wait...I feel it too...the presence of a Jedi! He's close!  
  
Ani: Over there! *points out of Mos Relars, towards desert*  
  
VACA: Ok, the search is on! DG, sorry to be raggin' on you, but tell Chewie to hurry up!  
  
Siri: I can sense DG's annoyed...  
  
VACA: Ok, I'll shut up. :b *gets into X-wing*  
  
Ani: DG, we're tracking the Jedi over the desert. He's apparently moving towards Mos Eisley, in...a Y-wing?!  
  
VACA: Must have stolen it, but that's beside the point. *VACA, Siri, and Ani speed to Mos Eisley*  
  
DG: Poor IG. Not! *Chewie reports the hyperdrive is back online* Cat! PUMP IT! *Crysta jumps to hyperdrive*  
  
Cat: We're on our way to Tatooine, but we also need to effect repairs in transit. I estimate another... two hours until we have 50% of main power back online.  
  
Leia: Didn't you install those long range telepoters yet?  
  
Cat: *Annoyed* We've been upgrading the Crysta to Republic standards for a while. We haven't had time to install anything new, your Worshipness.  
  
Han: And I thought I could throw it out to her.  
  
DG: Cut the chit-chat. T.H.E.L.M.A.! *She appears behind DG*  
  
T.H.E.L.M.A.: Yes, sir?  
  
DG: *Jumps* Ah! How do you do that? Never mind. T.H.E.L.M.A., get down to the engine room and help Chewbacca! *T.H.E.L.M.A. nods then leaves*  
  
Cat: Now, we just have to worry a bounty hunter finding us out here in hyperspace.  
  
DG: What are the chances? *Alarm beeps* I had to open my big trap.  
  
Back on Tatooine:  
  
Location: Dune Sea  
  
VACA: I can'l believe it! This guy's trapped us!  
  
Siri: The sandstorm is approaching fast!  
  
Ani: But we can't do anything in these cross-winds! The engines won't- *sound of 3 X-wing engines running out of fuel* Never mind, the engines won't do anything now.  
  
VACA: We've-got to-pull through! *using the Force, they manuver their X- wings  
  
through the sandstorm* Woah, had no idea I could do that...  
  
???: YOU didn't, I did. Congatulations, you passed my test. You are true Jedi.  
  
*the engines start back up, and their X-wings auto-pilot into a cave*  
  
Siri: Great Sando Aquas!  
  
*a BIG cave*  
  
VACA: Look! *points to a parked Y-wing*  
  
*a short figure steps out of the Y-wing*  
  
Ani: Why does that person look familiar...  
  
???: If you must know, I contacted each of you telepathically about a week ago, am I correct?  
  
VACA: You mean...it's really you? I finally get to meet...Yaddle?  
  
Yaddle: I brought you here to warn you-this is much more serious than the  
  
Spung. The Spung are just working for a greater force. If you do not succeed in your mission, the galaxy will be doomed.  
  
VACA, Siri, and Ani: @_@  
  
DG: Okay, can we just zip back to the garage?  
  
Cat: We're already on the way.  
  
Location: Coruscant  
  
Area: The Jedi Garage  
  
Leia: Why are we back here?  
  
DG: We need a better fighting ship. So... *Looks at a battleship made out of colored metal* Like?  
  
Leia: It looks like a makeshift ship made out of those Lego things.  
  
DG: I know. It is. *Leia does an anime fall*  
  
Cat: *Snicker*  
  
DG: I call helm and captaincy!  
  
Cat: Shotgun!  
  
Leia: They're crazy.  
  
DG: Aren't we?  
  
Cat: We're off, and now, let's head to Tatooine! *Ship blasts off and enters hyperspace*  
  
DG: Approaching- *Ship rocks slightly* the Bounty Hunters.  
  
Cat: I'm reading Zuckass, 4-LOM, Zam Wessel, Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Bossk, Aurra Sing, and Dengar!  
  
DG: VACA, we have the whole Bounty Hunter Elite after us, and I'm reading several Spung Killcruisers approaching rapidly!  
  
Cat: That's not all of it. Not only are there a few ships I don't regonize, but the lead Killcruiser- Is the Spung Killcruiser Gazada.  
  
DG: Warlord Shang.  
  
Cat: Right.  
  
Leia: ?_?  
  
Han: I don't like that title, that's for sure.  
  
DG: VACA, we got trouble.  
  
Cat: Every single bounty hunter is out there! I just made out IG-2000's ship!  
  
DG: Not good, this is not good.  
  
VACA: DG, try and hold on, okay?  
  
DG: Oh, sure, hold our own against nine known bounty hunters, several unknown ones, and five Spung Killcruisers. Yaddle, what does the code say about this?  
  
Yaddle: I don't know. I've never read it. I just recite it.  
  
DG: -_-' Ya know, I'm wondering what normal Jedi Knights are doing right now.  
  
Location: Coruscant  
  
Section: Jedi Common Room  
  
Obi-Wan: *Playing Go Fish with Adi Gallia* Got any five's?  
  
Location: DG's Warship  
  
Section: The Bridge  
  
DG: I'm beginning to wonder who's writing this script.  
  
Cat: I'm beginning to wonder if I should have written out my will.  
  
Leia: Help.  
  
VACA: Leia, wait til you see what the writer is planning for you.  
  
DG: Yeah. *Reading script* By the way, do you know the song 'Oops, I Did It Again?'  
  
Leia: O_O  
  
Cat: He's kidding.  
  
DG: Yeah.  
  
Leia: *Sighs*  
  
Cat: But, do tell me you have the outfit Brittany wore in 'Stronger.' You'll need it.  
  
DG: And now, back to our featured fan fiction. Ahem. *Clears throat* HELP! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cat: So much for Jedi control.  
  
Location: extraplanetary space in the Tatooine system  
  
VACA: DG, we have backup!  
  
*Several Mon Calamari Cruisers, Rogue Squadron, and the Outrider come out of hyperspace*  
  
Siri: Uh-huh.  
  
VACA: Open fire!  
  
*the Mon Cal Cruisers destroy several bounty hunters' ships*  
  
Yaddle: It looks like...we're going to win. But...  
  
Ani: There's a BUT?!  
  
Yaddle: Can't you feel it?  
  
VACA: Oh shoot, the Sith are behind this, aren't they?  
  
Siri: The Sith...and something else...I can't comprehend it...  
  
VACA: Siri, look out!  
  
*laser fire rushes by Siri*  
  
VACA: You'd think bounty hunters would have better aim...but we do want Siri to live...:b  
  
Ani: We can't spend time contemplating this! *fires at Killcruiser*  
  
VACA: He's right, let's do this! *fires at IG-2000* Sheesh, how many assassin droids are there in this galaxy?  
  
DG: Tell me about it. Okay, Han, fire weapons and shoot out those Spung and bounties! Cat, raise shields to maximum. Leia, stand there and get annoyed.  
  
Leia: ¬_¬  
  
DG: VACA, take out a couple of bounty hunters, but leave Dengar and the family Fett alone. We'll need to see who hired them.  
  
Cat: Good idea. Han, blast them outta hyperspace.  
  
DG: Ye-hawww!  
  
Cat: Let's do this! *DG heads to a small shuttle*  
  
DG: This baby has more fire power than the Death Star II. *Flies out and begins blasting Spung and bounty hunters*  
  
VACA: Yaddle, please tell me that feeling is getting clearer.  
  
Yaddle: *Inocently* What feeling?  
  
Siri: That feeling you had earlier!  
  
Yaddle: Did I have a feeling?  
  
Ani: Why are you asking me? I didn't hear anything about a feeling. Siri, what are you talking about?  
  
Siri: *Confused* I don't know.  
  
DG: Would you three quit gabbing? I need some help on destroying some of these babies!  
  
VACA: Yaddle, Yaddle, Yaddle...only 493 and your mind is going? Oh well...*blows up more bounty hunters*  
  
Siri: Say, I have a genius idea! *flies to the docking bay of the main Mon Cal Cruiser*  
  
Ani: What is she doing? ?_?  
  
Siri: Just leave everything to me.  
  
*VACA, Ani, and Yaddle take out all the hunters except Dengar and the Fetts*  
  
VACA: Hey, look! Siri's using the Cruiser's tractor beam to capture them! Oops, we didn't ionize their-*sound of ships being disabled* Oh, thanks Yaddle.  
  
Yaddle: No problem.  
  
VACA: Now, I think we should concentrate on that there General Something-or- other...  
  
DG: VACA, Yaddle, I can understand, but how do you explain Ani and Siri? There's something bigger than us here. I'll go capture Warlord Shang. Dengar and the Fetts are a couple of the best B.H. We'll definintly need info. They're the most informed. Hey, Han, you want revenge with Fett?  
  
Cat: I'm curious: How did Fett escape that Sarlaac?  
  
DG: I think they explain it in a book.  
  
Cat: *Rolling eyes* Of course. That's your answer to everything now.  
  
DG: *Evil grin*  
  
VACA: Say, anyone ever hear about the Jedi praxeum on Yavin IV...  
  
Siri: No, no, no! Shut UP, VACA!  
  
VACA: :( :b  
  
Ani: Say Ackbar, how'd you get a tractor beam on your Cruiser?  
  
Ackbar: *heavy breathing* Luke, I am your father...  
  
Ani: Ackbar, you stoopa...  
  
VACA: Enough already! What is this, a Star Wars story?  
  
All: YES!  
  
VACA: Ok, back to business. Ackbar, I'll be boarding soon to see about the hunters. And DG, good luck and may the Force be with you. Yaddle, Siri, and Ani: May the Force be with you.  
  
VACA: Utinni!  
  
*joins Yaddle, Siri, and Ani on the Cruiser*  
  
DG: What, this memory loss thing ain't affecting you?  
  
Cat: It is curious. What's going on with the Jedi here?  
  
DG: After we get Shang, we'll investigate.  
  
Cat: Right. Good luck lover.  
  
DG: I knew there was a reason I kept you around.  
  
Ani: Kept who around, DG?  
  
DG: O_o @_@ This is gettin' weird. VACA, you and Cat need to start investigating this memory loss thing- STAT. I'll get the dumb Warlord.  
  
VACA: Funny thing is, I haven't been experiencing any memory loss lately...  
  
Cat: Yeah, but you're usually absent-minded anyway.  
  
VACA: Oh yeah...  
  
Luke: VACA, I'll interrogate...those guys...uhh...  
  
VACA: Dengar and the Fetts. Ah man, Luke's experiencing it too...-_-;; Maybe we should leave the interrogation to Han. Luke, go get some rest.  
  
Luke: Ok...uhh, where's my quarters again?  
  
VACA: *points*  
  
Cat: This is getting very annoying. Somebody get a med droid over here.  
  
Chewie: Roarroar!  
  
Han: He says he's never seen anything like this before. I mean, we've battled evil Sith, slimy slugs, sadist Sii-Ruuvii...  
  
VACA: And now you 3 are the only sane ones I can talk to.  
  
Leia: Hey, what about...uhh...  
  
Cat: You?  
  
Leia: Yeah...  
  
VACA: Apparently, it affects anyone with Force abilities. What is this, some kind of side effect of using the Force?  
  
Cat: But Jedi and Sith have used the Force for millenia, and there's never  
  
been any cases-  
  
VACA: That's it! There's never been any RECORDED cases! I'll bet if we can find a holocron, somewhere, that documents Jedi memory loss, it'll help us!  
  
Yaddle: Here. I forget what it is, but I think it'll help. *hands VACA a map*  
  
VACA: *opens the holo-map* Whoa! It's a map of the whole galaxy! What are these blinking lights?  
  
Yaddle: *drools*  
  
Cat: I'll bet they're the spots where Jedi hid their holocrons!  
  
Han: *peers over VACA's shoulder* Hey, I know a couple of these places. Look. *points to various blinking spots* Tatooine. Dagobah. Kessel. Coruscant.  
  
VACA: I had no idea there were so many hidden holocrons...Han, can we borrow the Falcon?  
  
Han: Borrow it? I'm comin' with you!  
  
VACA: Yeah! For Yaddle and Luke!  
  
Cat: For Siri!  
  
Han: For Leia!  
  
VACA: I just hope we can get there before this thing affects me, too.  
  
DG: How will we tell? Sorry. I'm acting like Siri in her place. Anyway, we should also see if any of the other Jedi are affected.  
  
Cat: Good idea. Chewie, I'm sorry, but we'll need you to watch over Luke, Leia, Ani, Siri, and- *Glaces at Yaddle who is yoddling*- Yoddle over there.  
  
VACA: It affected Yaddle and the others like that. *Snaps while saying that* Could it be recent Jedi additions are unaffected?  
  
Cat: Whoa! Brain activity in VACA just jumped the charts! *DG and VACA hit Cat in the head with frying pans*  
  
DG: Anyway, let's get down to business. Cat, toss the bounty hunters and Shang in the hold. We'll terror-gate them later.  
  
VACA: We'll just have to look. Artoo, Threepio, keep a close eye on those  
  
guys.  
  
Location: Tatooine  
  
*Millennium Falcon lands*  
  
VACA: *steps out* Cat, help me look. *scans the horizon* I sense a holocron in that direction! *points*  
  
Cat: According to Han's holomap of Tatooine, Obi-Wan's hut is over there. I'll bet that's where it is!  
  
VACA: Gee, ya think?  
  
*a blaster bolt whizzes by VACA's head*  
  
VACA: Tusken Raiders!  
  
Cat: Let's get out of here! *both run into the Falcon, VACA trips and falls*  
  
VACA: Ah, It figures.  
  
Cat: You should tie your shoes more often.  
  
Han: I'm gonna get rid of those pests once and for all. *pulls out blaster*  
  
Chewie: Rooaaar! *lowers Han's arm*  
  
VACA: Han, you stoopa. This is a peaceful mission. And we'll only be here until I get the holocron.  
  
Tusken Raider: *appears on ramp*  
  
VACA: Uhh, who closed the door?  
  
Han, Cat, and Chewie: O_o  
  
VACA: *Force calming*  
  
*the Raider passes out*  
  
Cat: How did you do that?  
  
VACA: Advanced Force calming. Kids, don't try this at home. You could knock out a lot of people. But hey, if you can do that, why aren't you at the Jedi Temple? :b *closes door* Ok, to Obi-Wan's hut.  
  
DG: Sheesh. Han, gimme dat. *Grabs Han's blaster then gives it to Cat*  
  
Cat: Me likes!  
  
DG: *Pulls out lightsaber and engages it and a white light begins to glow* Kids, don't make these at home. You could set fire to your house and your Christmas tree.  
  
Cat: *Rolling her eyes* DG, you spaz. Who'd wanna read this? *Camera zooms over to Cat wearing Brittany Spears' outfit from 'I'm A Slave 4 U'* Okay, now they'd wanna read this. *Camera zooms back to DG, VACA, Cat and Han in the M. F., Cat still wearing the outfit* I wanna know who's writing this thing! *DG hides laptop behind his back*  
  
VACA: Let's get moving before something worse than the Tusken Raiders arrives. *Velocimon and Avimon appear*  
  
Velocimon and Avimon: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
VACA: Oh my...O_o;; Things just got worse...Velocimon, Avimon, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN A STAR WARS FIC???!!!!  
  
Velocimon: Oops, we thought this was the set for that Digimon commercial.  
  
Han: *fingers Velocimon's feathers* VACA, do you know these strange creatures?  
  
Velocimon: *slaps Han's hand* Paws off the crest, bud!  
  
Avimon: Shut up Veloci, we're here to help.  
  
VACA: Help?! YOU DON'T EXIST!!!!  
  
Cat: Velocimon, Avimon, I hear enough from you on Pojo's, go away before someone-*blaster bolts whizz by Cat's head, Cat ducks* Finds us...-_-;;  
  
VACA: Everybody into the Falcon!  
  
*in the Falcon*  
  
Han: I've got the shields up, who's out there?  
  
VACA: *looks out window* Good, it's just Tusken Raiders. *gasps* And some dude in black!  
  
All: *crowd around window*  
  
Cat: Looks like a Sith.  
  
*the Tusken Raiders de-robe, revealing-*  
  
VACA: I know thoes kids from the Jedi Temple! But what are they doing with a Sith?  
  
Velocimon and Avimon: Can we help now?  
  
VACA: Yes...go see what those people out there are doing...:)  
  
Avimon: Isn't there something I'm supposed to remember about people in  
  
black...  
  
VACA: *Jedi mind trick*  
  
Avimon: Oh, guess not. *both walk out of Falcon*  
  
Cat: Won't they get killed?  
  
*ugly sounds from outside*  
  
VACA: Actually, they've already violated the "Not Going Into Other Universes" code. They'll just be warped back to the Digital World.  
  
Han: Digital World?  
  
VACA: Han, my friend, I have so much to teach you.  
  
Cat: Better not-there's been enough interfering with other universes...DG...:(  
  
DG: What? What did I do?  
  
Cat: Probably everything.  
  
Han: Can we get those holocron things now?  
  
VACA: I guess we forgot about those.  
  
DG: Well, so, let's take those lightsabers out and get ourselves a holocron!  
  
Cat: ¬_¬ I've said it once, I'll say it again: DG, you spaz. *Camera returns to Cat with the 'I'm A Slave 4 U' outfit- but now all are on the set of the video* Okay, who's writin' this?  
  
DG: Not me! I left the laptop in the Jadzia.  
  
VACA: ?_?  
  
DG: The name of the make shift ship we were in.  
  
Cat: -_- Okay, what are we gonna do about this outfit?  
  
DG: You are going to dance! n_n  
  
Cat: *Growls*  
  
VACA: Oh well. It can't get worse.  
  
DG: VACA, you did see the part in A New Hope where they were in the garbage compactor?  
  
VACA: Oops.  
  
VACA: Ok, SOMEONE is messing this up...  
  
*VACA's holo-link turns on*  
  
VACA: Huh?  
  
*there is a hologram of Jango Fett holding a holocron aboard the Jadzia, behind him, in an energy cage, is our Jedi friends...drooling*  
  
Jango: Looking for this? *tosses the holocron up in the air, catches it, runs his finger counterclockwise around the surface twice, and an image pops up of Master Bodo Baas*  
  
Bodo: We have discovered the secret to curing the Jedi mind loss, and it is- *Jango runs his finger up the holocron, and it turns off*  
  
Han: You won't get away with this you waste of skin!  
  
Cat: Ooh, that's a good one, where'd you get that?  
  
Han: VACA.  
  
VACA: It's true, I am the comeback queen.  
  
Jango: Shut up. Now, I suggest you stay where you are, so Boba will have an easier time finding you. And if you resist-*his finger hovers over the button that obviously runs the trash compactor*  
  
VACA: You scumbag! Kava doompa D'imperiolo stoopa!  
  
Chewie: RROOOAAAARRRROOOOAAAAOOOOORRR!!!!  
  
Jango: You know, roaring isn't going to help anything...*holo-link turns off*  
  
Cat: Ok, I don't care what happens, get me out of this outfit!  
  
VACA: It looks like...I've run out of good ideas. *gulps* 0_0  
  
Will our heroes escape this dastardly trap? How can so few Jedi have so much drool? And will Cat EVER get out of that Britney Spears outfit? Find out next ti- oh, uh, right now.  
  
DG: VACA, This is pathetic. We've got too many mysteries.  
  
Cat: Yeah, like how come I'm still wearing this.  
  
DG: I think Jango and Boba have something to do with that.  
  
VACA: What makes you say that?  
  
DG: This. *Show VACA, Cat, Chewie and Han a message that says: Jango and Boba have taken your script. Have a nice day!*  
  
Cat: I'll kill them.  
  
VACA: *sits down slowly, puts lightsaber down slowly, lays down, rolls over, and starts crying*  
  
Cat: Ah man, not again!  
  
Han: What a crybaby.  
  
VACA: *pops up* Hey, I've only cried once in this whole story! That's like a record for me! *lies back down*  
  
Cat: Well, we're doomed.  
  
Chewie: Roaaaaooooorrrrrooooaaarrrrroooorrr. Raaar.  
  
Han: He says we can't give up yet. They may have taken our script, our dignity *motions towards VACA, who is rolling around on the floor crying*, and our clothes *motions towards Cat* but we can still beat them!  
  
VACA: *pops up* The man's got a point. *gets up, grabs her lightsaber, and starts feeling the walls for a weak point*  
  
Cat: Well, things could have been worse. At least Jabba didn't steal the script. *starts helping VACA*  
  
VACA: Eww, perish the thought!  
  
*sound of a spacecraft landing outside*  
  
Han: It's party time.  
  
DG: Let's not give Jango and Boba any ideas.  
  
Cat: I want my clothes back! *Holocron pops back on*  
  
Jango: Sorry, but no. *Holocron pops back off*  
  
Cat: *Steam coming out of ears, face turning red*  
  
DG: Stand back! She's gonna blow! *Ducks behind sandbags*  
  
VACA: O_o;; This is getting a little out of hand...everyone, violence isn't a way to solve our problems-*ducks a punch from Chewie*-especially in this situation-*dodges blaster bolts from Han's blaster*-OK, CUT IT OUT!!!!!!! :(  
  
All: *freeze*  
  
*there is a rumbling in the distance, then it gets louder*  
  
Cat: Aww man, I'll bet that's the Slave 1 now...  
  
Han: Well, I'm ready for him! *pulls out blaster, Chewie pulls out bowcaster  
  
and stands beside him*  
  
VACA: Say...that doesn't sound like a ship...*rumbling stops*  
  
All: *dart around nervously*  
  
VACA: *is sitting in the corner, meditating and listening* Hey...that sound is very, VERY familiar...  
  
*Wyshamon and Utsumon(Avimon's Ultimate) burst through wall*  
  
Wyshamon: We're here!  
  
Utsumon: We figured you kids needed a little help.  
  
VACA: But-and the-then-*points around confusingly*  
  
Wyshamon: Just call us your own personal plot hole.  
  
*hololink comes on*  
  
Jango: *stares at Wyshamon and Ustumon* But-and the-then- *points around confusingly, hololink turns off*  
  
*the Slave 1 lands outside on the sand*  
  
VACA: Hey, at least they didn't take us off-planet.  
  
*the hologram of a desert dissipates to reveal...*  
  
Han: *slaps his forehead* Dagohbah...the one place where the trees can eat you alive...  
  
Boba: *steps out of the Slave 1, blaster pointed at everyone* Ok, nobody move, nobody dies.  
  
*VACA, DG, and Cat activate lightsabers*  
  
Cat: *through clenched teeth* Nobody, but NOBODY, gets away with putting me in this outfit!!!!!! *seeths*  
  
Utsumon: It's party time.  
  
(VACA;s note: Utsumon is now Avimon's official Ultimate. She's kinda hard to describe, but she looks kind of like a reptilian Angewomon with a nasty spike and talon arrangement on one arm. Oh yeah, and sorry I haven't been coming to the boards for a while, my comp is stupid and only my dad knows how to fix it. *bangs on comp* Kava doompa stoopa!!!)  
  
DG: Cat, it's time for you to ignore the fact of what you look like. Everything matters on when you feel like.  
  
Jango: *Smiles evilly then types something on the script, zits appear on VACA, DG, and Cat's faces*  
  
DG: Okay, let's kick his ASCII.  
  
Cat: Agreed.  
  
VACA: Ahhhhh!!! My perfect face!!!! Ok, NOW I'm mad!!!  
  
George Lucas: *pops in* Hey, you can't use Digimon in a Star Wars fic!  
  
VACA: Actually, these are a rare species of rancor...yeah.  
  
Wyshamon: Yeah, I'm a rancor.  
  
Utsumon: And I'm a...winged Twi'lek! Yeah!  
  
Boba: Lucas, this is totally against the rules-  
  
Lucas: Boba is in this fic? Well then, get him. He's my least favorite character. *walks out*  
  
VACA: That was unusual.  
  
Boba: *Breaks down and bawls*  
  
DG: ..........  
  
Cat: That's new. *While Jango is distracted with Boba, DG steals the scripts and pencils Cat into Brittney Spears' outfit from 'Oops, I Did It Again.'*  
  
Cat: Better. *DG then writes in that Jango gives VACA the holocron*  
  
VACA: *Evil smile*  
  
VACA: Ah, thankees! Now, what did you do to turn it on, Jango?  
  
Jango: Like I'd ever tell you!  
  
Utsumon: *brandishes her spiked claw* Tell.  
  
Jango: Yes ma'am. 0_0  
  
Utsumon: *gets nailed from behind with a spray stick* AAAHHHH!!! *collapses to the ground in a net, followed by Wyshamon. They then de-evolve into Planamon and Flatmon*  
  
VACA: How convienient...*rolls eyes*  
  
Boba: You didn't think we would let the story end this soon, did you? *aims spray stick at VACA, DG, and Cat*  
  
*VACA, DG, and Cat get stuck in the net*  
  
Cat: May I quote from a certain droid when I say, we're doomed.  
  
VACA: Don't worry, they can't kill us, we're the heroes!  
  
Jango: That's what Qui-Gon said...*evil smile*  
  
Cat: *whispers to VACA* Do you still have the holocron?  
  
VACA: *whispers* Yeah, it's with me.;)  
  
Boba: *notices the script in DG's hands* I'll take that, you runt! *grabs the script*  
  
DG: No way, you're not taking that thing again! *Boba and DG have a tug-of- war over the script*  
  
*the Millennium Falcon swoops overhead*  
  
VACA: We're saved! :D  
  
Cat: You do realize that every time you've said that, we get into deeper trouble. -_-  
  
VACA: Oops.  
  
*the Falcon lands, Han and Chewie come out armed and ready*  
  
Jango: *points his blaster at Planamon and Flatmon and-*  
  
VACA: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Cat: I thought you said they'll just go back to the Digital World.  
  
VACA: They will...but that wasn't nice!!! :(  
  
Jango: Bounty hunters aren't nice. Get over it.  
  
Han: You scumbag. Blasting innocent, helpless creatures.  
  
Jango: It's my job. I'm simply doing my job.  
  
VACA: Your--wait! Bounty hunters don't recklessly kill, only if there's money in it for them! Ok, who hired you-and all the other bounty hunters in the galaxy?  
  
Boba: Since you're in no position to do anything about it, I'll tell you. Darth Qulox.  
  
Cat: Darth what?  
  
Boba: Darth Qulox. Of course you wouldn't have heard of him, he lives in a very...secluded place.  
  
Han: Ok, you better let my friends go! Right now!  
  
Jango: *starts to sneer, but he suddenly becomes stiff and falls to the ground. Same thing happends with Boba*  
  
???: If you want something done right, do it yourself.  
  
*A black Sith Infiltrator with red highlights lands close to the Falcon*  
  
Han: What the...*the door opens*  
  
DG: *skims script* Hey, there's no Sith Infiltrators in my script! *and out steps...an Ewok*  
  
VACA: Hahahahahaha!!! *realizes she's laughing and tries to stifle it*  
  
*the Ewok pulls out a lightsaber, it ignites and is crimson red*  
  
The Ewok: I am Darth Qulox. I have been all over the galaxy looking for you.  
  
DG: You can't stop us as long as I have the script! *Script flies into Qulox's hands* D'oh!  
  
Cat: *Gets put back in the 'I'm A Slave 4 U' outfit* You know, I'm beginning to see that I'm never getting outta this thing.  
  
DG: You know, I think she's right.  
  
Han: Uh-huh.  
  
Chewie: Rrrrroar! Roar, roar. *Translation: VACA, quit saying that you're saved.*  
  
VACA: Hey! I feel bad enough already.  
  
Qulox: Uh-  
  
Cat: Would you be a doll and let us continue our fighting? Thanks.  
  
Qulox: Oh, sorry, I- Hey, wait a second! *Writes something in the script, big thunder like sound occurs*  
  
DG: Uhhhh, why do I get the feeling that's not good?  
  
Cat: Maybe because a Sith is holding the script!  
  
DG: That might be it. VACA, got any plans?  
  
VACA: Unless there's a miracle, no. * Script flies out of Qulox's hands and into DG's*  
  
Qulox: !?  
  
???: This is a holy place for all Jedi. You are not allowed here! *Qulox and his ship disapear*  
  
Cat: Where'd he go?  
  
DG: Jabba's sail barge.  
  
Cat: Inside the Sarlaac? *DG nods*  
  
All: Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!  
  
VACA: Now, who was that mysterious voice?  
  
DG: The script doesn't say. *Suddenly, lightning engulfs Han and Chewie*  
  
Cat: !?  
  
Qulox's voice: It may be a holy place for Jedi, but what about those under Sith influence? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  
  
VACA: What does that mean?  
  
DG: That Qulox is now controlling Han and Chewie.  
  
Cat: Not good. This is not good.  
  
VACA: Well, you know, I'm offically scared now.  
  
Cat: What do you mean? You're a venerable Jedi Master.  
  
VACA: That may be true...but I've never actually gone up against a Sith before...^_^;;  
  
Cat: *anime fall* You're a Jedi and you've never faced a Sith?!  
  
VACA: Well, they're not that easy to come by these days...it happens to a lot of people.  
  
Cat: VACA, DO something!!!  
  
VACA: *whimpers* What do I do?  
  
Han: You will all pay dearly for disturbing the glorious Darth Qulox.  
  
Chewie: Rooaaooorrrrrooooaaaaooorraarr! *translation: "Yeah!"*  
  
VACA: So Mister Qulox, what do you plan to do with us now that you've got us trapped?  
  
Qulox: ... I never thought of that. I was so concerned with actually CAPTURING you that...I never thought...  
  
Cat: Well, you could just kill us.  
  
VACA: And I'm the one who always jinxes us?! :(  
  
Cat: Wait! I didn't say that!  
  
VACA: Yes you did, it came out of your mouth.  
  
Cat: *a wierd expression comes over her face* Yes...let's kill them...hehehe...  
  
DG: Cat? Hellooo! *waves hand in Cat's face*  
  
Cat: *snaps at DG's hand*  
  
DG: Cat!  
  
Cat: Now...pitiful humans...join the ranks of the Sith or-  
  
*VACA, DG, and Cat are transported to the Sail Barge Gardens, a resturaunt on Tatooine* *VACA, DG, and Cat are sitting in a booth*  
  
Cat: Whoa! Where are we?  
  
DG: I dunno if I should try this again...*waves hand in front of Cat*  
  
Cat: DG, quit it! *shoves DG away playfully*  
  
VACA: Yep, she's back to normal.  
  
Boba: *comes around the corner, sees VACA, DG, and Cat, stops* What-what are you doing here?  
  
VACA: That's what I would like to know, bub! *stands up, takes out lightsaber*  
  
DG: So, we meet again. *takes out lightsaber*  
  
Boba: No, no, you misunderstand. *VACA and DG are suddenly sitting back in the booth* I wanted to know what you *points to DG* and you *points to Cat* were doing here.  
  
VACA: Hey, you forgot somebody over here!  
  
Boba: No I didn't.  
  
Cat and DG: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *giggle and point at VACA*  
  
VACA: What? WHAT?!  
  
Boba: I must confess VACA, from the first time I saw you, I...I knew there was  
  
something special about you.  
  
VACA: *leans back in booth, samples the rolls on the table, tries not to act  
  
nervous* *jerkily* So...what are you trying to say?  
  
Boba: I think you know. n_n  
  
VACA: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Cat: What? I'm the one wearing the Britney outfit, and he likes HER?! *points to VACA in rage and disgust*  
  
Boba: Actually, the outfit was Dad's idea.  
  
All: EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!! O_o;;  
  
Cat: I...didn't need to hear that...  
  
VACA: Ok, how'd we get here?  
  
Boba: I have a copy of the script. *holds it up*  
  
VACA: That's convenient.  
  
Boba: I saw what was going to happen to you *ahem* all of you, and I simply wrote a bit and...here you are.  
  
Cat: DG, never write a script for anything ever again.  
  
DG: How am I supposed to keep track of what's going on?  
  
Cat: Memorize it. :(  
  
VACA: *flustered and a bit scared* Boba, I'm flattered, really, but, you know, it just wouldn't work, we're completely different.  
  
Boba: *hold up script* Well, you could just go back to your possessed friends...  
  
VACA: Dang. Blackmail.  
  
Cat: How are we going to get rid of this guy?  
  
VACA: Ok, listen peedunkey! *jabs Boba* I HATE you, you're a LOSER, and you're the WORST sleemo bounty hunter EVER!!!!!!!  
  
Boba: *walks off crushed*  
  
VACA: There, that took care of him. :) Anyone up for scurrier tips? *picks up menu*  
  
DG: Uh, okay. One problem. We are currently being slowly digested in the pit of the Sarlaac.  
  
Cat: Yuck.  
  
DG: VACA, if you hadn't just crushed the heart of the only guy with a usable copy of the script- *Sy Snoddles begins to sing her song from the Special Edition, Boba make a pass at her and uses the same line he used on VACA*  
  
VACA: *Steam emerging from her ears* That takes the cake!  
  
Cat: I thought you didn't like him.  
  
DG: Yeah, but he just proposed to Sy, and guess what his gift is.  
  
Cat: You don't mean-  
  
DG: Yes, I do. The script. *Suddenly, the music stops, and Sy pulls a zipper from the top of her head-  
  
Cat: Hey, where did that come from?  
  
DG: How am I supposed to know? I don't memorize these scripts.  
  
VACA: Uh, guys, maybe you should let the unseen announcer finish.  
  
DG and Cat: Oops.  
  
*- Anyway, Sy pulls a zipper from the top of her head to reveal Qulox*  
  
DG: Anyone who didn't see that one coming, raise their hands. *VACA and Cat raise hands*  
  
Cat: Great. Now Qulox has both of the scripts and can write anything he wants in them.  
  
DG: Hey! Qulox! Since Sy isn't here, do something with Cat! *Cat appears on stage singing 'I'm A Slave 4 U,' VACA stares at DG*  
  
DG: I figured she might as well do something in it besides play our aggressive front.  
  
VACA: *grabs Boba by the neck; how, I don't know* Why ain't you just a little booger! :(  
  
Boba: It's...not what it looks like? ^_^;;  
  
VACA: Nice try, bucko. *pushes him away* I've heard that line one too many times...in some movies. :b*the floor starts to slant*  
  
Cat: Why does this seem very familar?*  
  
VACA: You mean-?  
  
DG: NOOOOO!!!! Qulox has seen Titanic!!!! 0_0;;  
  
Boba: *starts to walk towards VACA*  
  
VACA: Don't even try it, stoopa. You ain't no Leo.  
  
Boba: *slides back to the wall* She's so beautiful when she's angry...*sigh*  
  
Cat: Ok, what we really need to do is get out of here. VACA, do you remember how they got out of the Titanic?  
  
VACA: I actually never saw that movie.  
  
DG: I have an idea! Run as fast as you can away from the giant mouth ingesting us!  
  
*all start running*  
  
VACA: Sounds like a plan!  
  
Cat: *looks back at Boba, who is sitting dejectedly by the wall* Aw, come on VACA, you can't just leave him there.  
  
VACA: You're right. *activates lightsaber* Lemme put him out of his misery now. :)  
  
DG: *holds VACA back* That's not what she meant.  
  
VACA: So you want him to live?  
  
DG: Yes-no-I don't know, he seems...important.  
  
VACA: You just want me to like him. Cat wants me to like him.  
  
Qulox: I want you to like him too.  
  
VACA: *throws hands up* Well, it all just went! Come on, let's get out of here before I change my mind. :( *storms toward door*  
  
*Cat and DG follow*  
  
Cat: *looks down at the Sarlacc pit below them* Uh...how are we supposed to escape now?  
  
VACA: Good question. *starts to look dizzy and looks like she's going to throw up*  
  
DG: ??  
  
VACA: I...hate...heights...*lurches*  
  
Boba: Now this is a problem I can solve! *appears behind VACA at the door*  
  
VACA: *is startled, almost falls off, Boba offers his hand, VACA grunts and hoists herself up* Don't ever...do that to me...EVER...again! *hyperventilates*  
  
Cat: Lemme guess. You're afraid of sudden noises too.  
  
VACA: Ever since Hoth.  
  
Boba: She has the most beautiful grunt...*sigh* *takes out a small device, pushes a button, puts it back*  
  
*the Slave 1 zooms up to the door*  
  
Boba: Well...jump.  
  
VACA: I am NEVER going to accept help from you! I would rather...*looks down at Sarlacc again* Never mind. *jumps into the Slave 1, the others follow suit*  
  
DG: *Laughing his head off* Oh, wait. I hate heights too. *Barfs on Boba*  
  
Boba: I just got it washed!  
  
DG: Eh, quit your whining.  
  
Cat: Hey, guys, shouldn't we focus on who that voice was from that one planet?  
  
DG: What, you mean the one where you almost bit my hand off?  
  
Cat: Uh, yeah.  
  
VACA: *As Boba begins to try and hug her* Ai-ya! *Punches Boba* Ya! *Roundhouse kicks him* Hi-ya! *Knocks him out of Slave I* Oops. Oh well. Now we've got our own ship! :)  
  
DG: *Shrugs* Now, let's run down our list of dead Jedi.  
  
Cat: That comprises of, like, one. Qui-Gon. We've never bothered to read about the ancient Jedi. We live in the here and now.  
  
DG: We sure are the oddest Jedi.  
  
Cat: Sure are. *Walks over to a comm unit* T.H.E.L.M.A., how are our friends? *Picture of the Jadzia's bridge appears with T.H.E.L.M.A. in a canoe singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'*  
  
DG: Well, that answers that. The ship is filling up with drool. T.H.E.L.M.A., take them back to Coruscant before the ship is filled with water and the control panels short-circuit.  
  
Cat: Can they really do that?  
  
VACA: Remember, Qulox is writing this, and he's a Sith.  
  
DG: Say, VACA, do you still have the holocron?  
  
VACA: *feels around in her robe* Oh yeah, I forgot about that thing! *takes it out* Oops...only Jango knows how to turn it on...or maybe...*yells down to Boba, who is hanging by his one hand, the other trying to turn his jetpack on* Hey Boba!  
  
Boba: *notices VACA*  
  
VACA: Hey Boba, do you know how to turn this thing on?  
  
Boba: Ye-no, no I don't.  
  
VACA: I'll look at you for 1 second...  
  
Boba: *finally gets jetpack turned on, floats up to the Slave 1, lands* Ok, you put your finger on it like this-*takes VACA's hand, VACA elbows him hard, he lets go*  
  
VACA: I know how to put my finger on something, thank you very much!  
  
Boba: *manages to suppress yet another sigh, but gets the googly eyes* Ok, you put your finger on it and move your finger counterclockwise until it turns on.  
  
VACA: *does the same*  
  
Jedi Master Bodo Baas: Ah, 3 young Padawans! And another, I see! You look much nicer than that other man who last held my holocron.  
  
VACA: Master Bodo, do you know anything about (Boba get your chin off my  
  
shoulder) Jedi mind loss?  
  
Bodo: Hm...ah yes, many years ago there was a great disease that spread among the Jedi, they started to lose their memories and salivate more than the normal amount. Some thought it was a stray virus loose in the halls of the Jedi Temple, but I and a few others-Master Yoda was the founder of this theory-thought that there was something controlling the Jedi in some way. We also discovered that it only affects beings who have been Jedi for more than half their lives. So, before I passed into the inner realm of ignorance, I sent a group of young Padawans whom I had trained myself, and had only been Jedi for (Boba I happen to know that VACA is positively rippling with anger, and you'd better get your arm off her shoulder now) a few years. You see, I believe that anyone, no matter how old, can become a Padawan. :) They journeyed far and wide, finally defeating the Sith Lord responsible for the mind loss-or so I was told when I awakened.  
  
Cat: Mindblowing. 0_0  
  
Bodo: That's not the half of it. Mere days later, one of my Padawans-young Pera Fett if I'm not mistaken-  
  
Boba: Great-grandma Pera was a Jedi?!  
  
VACA: Shut up and let the man tell his story.  
  
Boba: Anything for you, my love!  
  
VACA: *rolls eyes* Inkabunga.  
  
Bodo: AHEM! *everyone looks at Bodo* Pera Fett told me that her band of Padawans had not killed Darth Qulox, but he had simply retreated into another dimension, where his powers could grow stronger.  
  
VACA: So it's Qulox who's behind this! That's why he sent all those bounty hunters after us and finally captured us himself!*lightning*  
  
Qulox: Right you are! *cackles*  
  
Bodo: So, you're the infamous Darth Qulox! Feel my-! *makes Force lightning guestures, nothing happens* my-! *gestures again, nothing happens*  
  
Cat: Bodo, bad news. You're a hologram.  
  
Bodo: Quite forgot about that. ^_^;;  
  
VACA: Sheesh. He's everywhere. Boba, if you don't take your hand off my hip, you'll never use it to turn your jetpack on again.  
  
Cat: Qulox, why do you even want to kill us?  
  
Qulox: It's in my contract. I have to be evil. There's no reason otherwise.  
  
DG: That's the reason for anything.  
  
Cat: Yeah, I mean- *Looks at Boba, who is trying to make VACA jealous, trying to make a pass at her, she then whacks Boba with binoculars*  
  
DG: I'm wondering where she got those.  
  
VACA: Bodo, is Pera still alive? *Boba attempts to answer, VACA rolls him into a bowling ball then uses it against Qulox, who is holding a copy of the script, VACA gets a strike and the script flies into her hands* Yea!  
  
All: 0_0  
  
VACA: *shrugs* 11 1/2 time champ, Corellian Bowling League. It's practically the only sport I'm good at. *scans the script* HEY!  
  
Qulox: What?  
  
VACA: *jabs her finger into the script* It says here that I kiss Boba! :(  
  
Boba: *perks up, gets a huge grin on his face*  
  
VACA: *takes out an eraser, erases that part of the script*  
  
Boba: *goes back to moping*  
  
Qulox: Not so fast! *pencils it back into his copy*  
  
VACA: *erases it*  
  
*this goes on for several minutes*  
  
Qulox: Oops. Now there's just a big hole in that part of the paper.  
  
VACA: *sarcastically* Too bad. ^_^  
  
Cat: Ok Qulox, why are you causing the Jedi to lose their minds?  
  
Qulox: I dunno. Seemed fun.  
  
???: It's not fun, you fool!  
  
Qulox: Not again! I'll be back! *disappears*  
  
VACA: Aren't we forgetting 2 people?  
  
Cat: D'oh! Han and Chewie! Are they still under Qulox's control?  
  
Han: *appears and points his blaster at Cat's head*  
  
Cat: Guess so. 0_0;;  
  
Chewie: *starts to throttle DG*  
  
VACA: Hey!  
  
Chewie: *lets DG go, turns to VACA*  
  
VACA: Hey you slimy furball, leave my friend alone! :(  
  
Chewie: Roorrrrraaaar! (translation: I will destroy the Jedi.)  
  
Bodo: Oh, if only there was something I could do...  
  
VACA: *as she's backing away slowly from Chewie* Bodo, how old were you when you died?  
  
Bodo: Actually, I'm still aliv- *realizes what VACA's getting at* Of course! I'll be there faster than a Podracer flies! *holocron shuts off*  
  
VACA: Wow, he must be pretty paranoid to create a holocron of himself while he's still alive.  
  
Chewie: *starts swinging his arms*  
  
Boba: I'll save you! *pushes VACA out of the way*  
  
VACA: *kicks him in the shin* I can handle an angry, possessed Wookiee, you know.  
  
DG: VACA! Toss me the script! *VACA tosses DG the script as Chewie moves over to Cat and begins strangling her*  
  
Cat: Get... this... walking... carpet... off... of... me! *DG writes something, Qulox's control on Han and Chewie breaks*  
  
Chewie: Rroar? *Translation: Why am I trying to kill Cat?*  
  
Cat: Get... your... hands... off... of... me... you... walking... carpet! *Chewie complies just as DG writes that Boba is knocked out of Slave I and into the Sarlaac pit as Han rips off Boba's jetpack*  
  
DG: Merry Christmas, VACA. *Bodo arrives, ready to kill some bounty hunters*  
  
Bodo: Where are they? My turn!  
  
VACA: Uh, Bodo? Bodo. You're late.  
  
Bodo: Oh! I knew I should have taken a cab!  
  
VACA: Bodo, are you like, paranoid or something? I mean, you created a holocron, and you're still alive.  
  
Bodo: You never know when EVIL MIGHT STRIKE!!!!! *suddenly looks around, pulls out lightsaber, and swings it around, yelling*  
  
VACA: *calms him with the Force* Great. He's wacked. He's the only one that knows how to help the Jedi, and he's wacked. -_-;;  
  
Cat: Oh yeah, Bodo, do you know if Pera's still around?  
  
Bodo: :( Sadly, Pera quit her Jedi training the following year. Her knowledge of Darth Qulox apparently drove her crazy.  
  
VACA: Not crazy enough to have kids, apparently. *points to Boba, who is struggling to unwrap himself from one of the Sarlacc's tentacles*  
  
Bodo: Um...he might know where she is.  
  
Cat: If I might borrow VACA's catchphrase, how convenient.  
  
VACA: Why does everyone want me to like him?  
  
DG: Cat and I don't.  
  
VACA: Well, that's 2 people. *paces* Ok, I'm caught in the middle of an internal conflict. Do I rescue this guy and we get the information we need, but he bugs me forever, or do I let him die, which would save my sanity, but not the galaxy?  
  
Han: Sounds like a conflict to me.  
  
Chewie: Rorrrraaaaaarrrooo! (translation: I want VACA to like him.)  
  
Boba: I'll keep coming back! I can't die! I have a comic book after this!  
  
VACA: Ooh! I do NOT like this!  
  
DG: Actually, Boba, you got an e-mail from Darkhorse comics. It says that they decided to do a comic on Zam Wessels.  
  
Boba: What?  
  
Cat: How'd you figure out his password.  
  
DG: It's 'Boba+VACA.'  
  
Cat: That explains it.  
  
VACA: Hey! Boba! Where's Pera?  
  
Boba: I'll never tell you that era is on Coruscant!  
  
VACA: Thanks Boba! Cat? *Cat drops an anvil on Boba making him fall unconscious and the Sarlaac pulls him in*  
  
Cat: Two birds, one anvil.  
  
DG: *Types in Coruscant's location* Cat, contact T.H.E.L.M.A. *Cat does as they enter orbit around Coruscant*  
  
T.H.E.L.M.A.: They are currently helping to fill the indoor ocean.  
  
Han: Who saw that coming? *Everyone raises their hands*  
  
DG: VACA, help me raise Coruscant Land Control.  
  
VACA: *strokes chin* But where...where?  
  
Bodo: You look like Master Yoda when you do that.  
  
VACA: You wouldn't believe how many people say that.  
  
Cat: So Bodo, how good was Pera with the Force?  
  
Bodo: Oh, she was excellent...she could have been a greater Master than me...  
  
VACA: Why does this sob story sound familiar?  
  
Han: ??  
  
VACA: Person is proficient in the Force. Person becomes a Padawan. Person quits being a Jedi. Person has a descendant. If you ask me, if you look at it from a very general scale, it seems very familiar.  
  
Han: Yeah, sure...whatever...  
  
DG: So, what house is she living in? *Blank looks from everyone else*  
  
Cat: We should have asked- *Knock at the door*  
  
All: Not gettin' that!  
  
VACA: If that's Boba, this room will soon be very bloody.  
  
Han: *opens door*  
  
VACA: No you fool!  
  
Pera: *steps in* Hello young Padawans. I sensed you were looking for me. :)*another knock at the door*  
  
Pera: I've got it. *opens door*  
  
Boba: Granny Pera! ^_^  
  
Pera: Bobie! ^_^  
  
VACA: Bobie?! *starts laughing*  
  
DG: Hey, how'd he escape the Sarlaac?  
  
Cat: Frankly, I'd be more worried about that. *Points to Bodo who is now drooling*  
  
VACA: Uh-oh. Pera, tell us quickly how to stop Qulox!  
  
Pera: Use the-  
  
Boba: Force?  
  
Pera: No, the script. *Anime fall*  
  
VACA: Say, how come we never thought of that before?  
  
Cat: The story would be way too short.  
  
Han: Well, should the story end now?  
  
Boba: *is writing Boba+VACA in a heart on a piece of paper*  
  
VACA: Please, do end!  
  
DG: *picks up script* Ok, here goes... Say, does anyone else feel the need for some munches before we end this fic?  
  
Cat: *Stomach growls*  
  
VACA: Why not? *Takes the script and writes them into a restaurant with Cat in her normal clothes and without Boba who has been sent into a black hole*  
  
DG: Nice. *Waiter arrives*  
  
Waiter: Here we have our tips in advance. I'll take that. *Takes the script*  
  
DG: Hey! Wait a nano! You're not a waiter! You're Qulox! *Boba reappears and Cat is back in the outfit*  
  
Qulox: Time to sing!  
  
All: This is the fic that never ends! Yes, it goes on and on, my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever, just because, this is the fic that never ends!  
  
VACA: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Boba: Look at it this way...we get to be together forever. n_n  
  
VACA: *takes out lightsaber, holds it above her chest* I'll do it, I swear!  
  
Cat: *takes VACA's lightsaber* Come on, it's not that bad...*looks at Boba, who still has the googly eyes* Can I borrow that after you?  
  
Qulox: ... Don't you think this is fun, though?  
  
VACA: Fun? FUN?! Does this look like fun to you?!  
  
Qulox: I thought it was fun...  
  
Han: Apparently, we have very different views on what is fun.  
  
Qulox: Besides, I was just running an errand for my Master. He's really the one who wants control over the galaxy.  
  
VACA and Cat: That's convenient.  
  
Boba: No matter what you do, I will always stay true to VACA and the light side of the Force!!!!  
  
VACA: Why. That's all I ask. Why.  
  
Boba: ??  
  
Qulox: She's got a point. I mean look at her. She's ugly, overweight, clumsy, shall I go on?  
  
VACA: No thanks, I feel bad enough.  
  
Boba: I know. That's why I love her.  
  
VACA: You need immediate medical attention! This man is dillusional!  
  
Qulox: *watches them, then snaps back* Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be getting rid of you.  
  
Cat: *mumbles* Some Sith.  
  
???: Have you disposed of them yet? Ewoks make the most unreliable Sith.  
  
DG: Two mysterious voices in one fic? Have we set some sort of record?  
  
VACA: I'm afraid to find out.  
  
DG: Qulox, who is your master?  
  
Qulox: I'll never tell you the identity of Lord Farkus!  
  
DG: You know, the evil characters of this fic are so dumb.  
  
??? #2: I'll say.  
  
??? #1: I'm sick of the shadows.  
  
DG: Then come out of them. Sheesh. *Two figures walk out. One is a Hutt, the other is-*  
  
Boba: VACA, please go to http://www.starwars.com/flash/holiday2001/index_yes.html  
  
VACA: Why?  
  
DG: Hold on. *Surfs web* Ahhhhhh!  
  
VACA and Cat: What?  
  
DG: 'Holiday with the Fetts!'  
  
VACA and Cat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!  
  
Hutt: Can we get back to the fic?  
  
DG: Oh, yeah.  
  
VACA: *Looking at the other figure* Qui-Gon!  
  
Cat: But--he's supposed to be--  
  
Qui-Gon: Dead? Yeah, I know. Weird, isn't it?  
  
VACA: You're telling me. My head is spinning.  
  
Boba: Oh no! That's the first sign of Jedi mind loss! I'll save you!!!!!  
  
*tries to pick up VACA*  
  
VACA: You know, you better put me down or I'll make sure no one finds your mutilated remains. *Boba puts VACA down* I'm perfectly fine, I've only been a Jedi for-  
  
Qui-Gon: Approximately 1 23/56 years.  
  
VACA: That's what you've been doing all these years? Observing me?  
  
Qui-Gon: You, and all other Jedi hopefuls.  
  
Hutt: I took the Sith hopefuls.  
  
Boba: That's convenient. Hey, if I can't take her heart, I'll take her catchphrase. ;)  
  
Cat: You can't. I already took it.  
  
Boba: Please? *Cat whacks Boba upside the head, knocking him unconcious*  
  
Cat: It's just so hard to find good help these days.  
  
DG: So, Mr. Hutt, I'll assume you're Farkus?  
  
Hutt: *Nods*  
  
Han: Who's surprised? *Qulox raises his hand, everyone stares at him*  
  
VACA: He's your master and you didn't even know him?  
  
Qulox: He wore a hood. *Everyone else does an anime fall*  
  
Farkus: Sorry to be interrupting this lovely conversation, but I have a  
  
Sarlacc to feed. Qulox! The script!  
  
Qulox: *goes to give Farkus the script, a hazy white orb falls out of his  
  
robe*  
  
VACA: *picks it up, whispers to Cat* Hey, what's this?  
  
Cat: I dunno, but you'd better keep it.  
  
Boba: *comes to*  
  
VACA: *throws the orb at his head, it breaks on his helmet and he goes  
  
unconscious again* It was the only thing I had with me at the time. *shrugs*  
  
Farkus: *writes in the script, all are transported to a skiff above the  
  
Sarlacc pit, VACA, Cat, DG, Han, Chewie, and Boba have their hands tied behind  
  
their backs*  
  
Boba: *comes to*  
  
VACA: Spoot. Oh well, this way I can watch him scream.  
  
Qulox: You first, you loudmouthed Jedi. *points his lightsaber at VACA*  
  
VACA: I'm afraid there's no way out of this one. :(  
  
Farkus: Any last words?  
  
VACA: Boba, I-I love you.  
  
Boba: I know.  
  
*VACA steps off the edge--and onto the hull of an X-Wing*  
  
Leia: *piloting the X-wing* Come on, how many times have I heard that one?  
  
Luke: *lands his X-wing on the sand and jumps out, Yaddle and Siri follow suit  
  
in their 2-seater Y-wing*  
  
Leia: *starts firing her X-wing's laser cannons at Qulox and Farkus*  
  
Farkus: But--but--you're supposed to be--  
  
Luke: *jumps onto the skiff* Stupid? Nice try, Farkus, but it's not going to  
  
work this time.  
  
Yaddle: We suddenly found ourselves in a quite flooded starship.  
  
Siri: We had just enough time to clear it out and come rescue you guys-- Boba  
  
Fett?! Get him!!!!  
  
*Luke, Leia, Yaddle, and Siri charge the skiff*  
  
Boba: VACA, you can't let them kill me! We just- *Cat drops an anvil on him making him go unconcious*  
  
VACA: Thanks.  
  
Cat: What was that about anyway?  
  
VACA: Figured it would help some hero arrive.  
  
DG: Qui-Gon, could you help out over here?  
  
Qui-Gon: *Drools*  
  
Everyone else: *Anime fall*  
  
Han: Anyone who didn't see that coming, raise your hands. *No one raises their hands*  
  
DG: This is new. Usually someone didn't see it coming.  
  
Farkus: *Whistles innocently until the script falls out of his, uh, whatever you call it he wore over his head*  
  
VACA: You mean robe? *Yeah, that's it*  
  
DG: Who is this announcer, anyway?  
  
Cat: I'm afraid to find out.  
  
DG: On second thought, right-i-o.  
  
VACA: *reads the script* Ah-hah. Yep. Uh-huh.  
  
Boba: *wakes up* What? Is there some big kiss scene at the end? ^_^  
  
VACA: No you fool! *kicks him* The sphere that I hurt you with was actually holding all the Jedi's intelligences!  
  
Qui-Gon: *starts rolling around, still drooling*  
  
Cat: Which still doesn't explain him.  
  
Qulox: You fools! Do you really think we're that stupid?  
  
VACA: Actually...we do.  
  
All: *nod and agree*  
  
Qulox: That's beside the point...erm...anyway...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You've only saved the OTHER Jedi in the galaxy! Your pitiful friend is doo--  
  
Farkus: *whacks him* You mean she's just freed ALL THE JEDI IN THE GALAXY?!  
  
Qulox: Yes...but Qui-Gon is under our control now!  
  
Farkus: *anime fall*  
  
DG: You know, I've forgotten what the original storyline is.  
  
Cat: What else is new.  
  
Ani: I don't care. I haven't been here since page five, and I'm gettin' paid as much as you.  
  
Siri: What? You drool from page five to seventeen while they get blasted, roasted, toasted and eaten, and you get as much as them?  
  
Ani: You get the same amount.  
  
Siri: Well see, now everyone is happy.  
  
VACA: Cat, you want to or should I?  
  
Cat: Oh, let's do it together. *Both drop anvils on Ani and Siri*  
  
DG: Now let's see what the amounts are? *Checks on his laptop while pulling out a three person canoe* Okay, we now have more than them. *Puts away the three person and brings out a five person canoe* Han! Catch! *Tosses Han a five person canoe*  
  
Boba: VACA! *Tosses Ani out and sits in his seat*  
  
VACA: Boba, I'm gonna deck your halls.  
  
Boba: Funny, I thought it was December 26 to- *VACA punches him making him fall both unconscious and out of the canoe allowing Ani to get in*  
  
Siri: By the way, where's all this water coming from?  
  
VACA: There. *Points to Qui-Gon, who's drooling more Ani, Siri, Luke, Leia, and Yaddle had been combined*  
  
All: Yuck!  
  
VACA: *looks around* Interesting mode of transportation...could have done with  
  
a speeder...  
  
Han: Would you LIKE a speeder, your HIGHNESS?  
  
VACA: No, no, canoes are fine, perfectly fine...^_^;;  
  
Farkus: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now, with Qui-Gon out of our way, we  
  
can--we can--oh shoot, I've forgotten what I want to do...  
  
Qulox: Take over the galaxy?  
  
Farkus: Sounds like a plan! *they get in a motorboat and chase us*  
  
Siri: They're gaining! They're close! THEY'RE RIGHT ON TOP OF-*Siri gets  
  
pulled into the water by Qulox*  
  
Cat: Siri! *helps her back into the boat while Farkus and Qulox storm it*  
  
VACA: *ignites lightsaber* Bring it on.  
  
Farkus and Qulox: *ignite their lightsabers*  
  
All: *ignite their lightsabers*  
  
Boba: Hey, what about me? *Han tosses him an extra blaster*  
  
Han: Here, use this. If you don't give it back, I'll shoot you.  
  
Boba: Wha-thanks!  
  
Chewie: Rorrraaaarrgghh! (It was the least we could do for a pathetic scumbag  
  
like you.) *pulls out his bowcaster*  
  
*Han, Leia, and Boba point their blasters at Farkus and Qulox*  
  
Qulox: *backs away slowly* Uhh...we're kind of outnumbered...  
  
Farkus: ...  
  
*the Slave 1 swoops down and starts firing at us, causing all the Jedi to  
  
block the blaster bolts with their lightsabers*  
  
Jango: I'm baaaack!  
  
Cat: Oh no! Someone make sure the script stays out of his hands!  
  
Leia: Why?  
  
Cat: Every time he has the script I get put in an *Looks down to see the outfit* ...outfit... worn... by... Brittany... Spears.  
  
VACA: This is great. Boba wants me, Jango wants Cat....  
  
DG: Say, where has he been these past eight pages?  
  
Cat: Good question. I mean Boba has been- Hold on. *Uses the Force to make Boba's blaster fly to her then tosses it to Han* Boba has been hanging on VACA's every body part since the sail barge.  
  
Han: Thanks.  
  
VACA: Well, *Whacks Boba, who is trying to come onboard the canoe, with Siri's frying pan* we'll ask Jango when he gets here.  
  
DG: Well, there's a whack from Trusty Mallet waiting for him afterwards. Cat is my girlfriend.  
  
Jango: *lifts everyone up with his tractor beam*  
  
VACA: Hey--modified Firespray Patrol class ships don't COME with tractor beams!  
  
Jango: Mine does.  
  
VACA: Figures. -_-;; *they get drawn into the Slave 1, which then takes them up to-*  
  
Cat: An Imperial Star Destroyer!!!  
  
Luke: That's impossible! The Empire's been destroyed!  
  
Leia: Helloo! Ever heard of Imperial remnant troops?  
  
VACA: Ooh boy. We're in trouble.  
  
*in the cockpit*  
  
Jango: Good job son, you're growing up to be just like your dad. ^____^  
  
Boba: *keeps glancing back at VACA* Yeah. Sure. Whatever.  
  
*Boba unbuckles and goes to the prisoner hold*  
  
VACA: *ignites her lightsaber* Get out of here, sleemo. You've caused us enough trouble.  
  
Cat: Hear, hear!  
  
Boba: Shh. My dad will hear you guys. I have a plan to get us out of this mess.  
  
Cat: Get us out of this mess? You aren't one of us! We're the always-been- good-guys! You are a flip-flop! When Lucas created you, you were a bounty hunter and bounty hunters were evil! You delivered Han to Jabba for money! Now you're calling yourself one of us because VACA is here! Well, guess what, pal? You are not going to get me on your side, jerk- *DG clamps his hand on Cat's mouth*  
  
DG: This is rated 'G,' after all.  
  
Boba: Ok, listen. As soon as we get into the Star Destroyer, we'll...*whispers*  
  
*the Slave 1 enters the docking bay*  
  
Boba: Everyone know the plan?  
  
*everyone nods*  
  
*Boba gets back to his seat*  
  
*the Slave 1 lands, Jango steps out and converses with some important Imperial dude*  
  
Cat: *has her ear against the wall*  
  
VACA: What are they saying?  
  
Cat: Jango says he's got the prisoners. The other guy says good, prepare them for entechment--  
  
VACA: 0_0 What? *calls up to Boba, who is in the cockpit and can see the Imperial officer* Boba, is the guy Jango talking to human?  
  
Boba: Nope. Ssi-Ruuvii.  
  
Luke: What? I thought I defeated them!  
  
VACA: My fanfic, anything can happen. Besides, this is out of continuum, remember?  
  
Leia: By the way, how can all of us fit in here? There's 10 of us.  
  
Cat: I don't care to know. O_o;;  
  
Jango: Boba, get the prisoners!  
  
Boba: *takes everyone out*  
  
*evryone is in the docking bay, Qulox and Farkus are there too*  
  
Farkus: Now, with all of you put to a horrible end, we can take over the galaxy! HAHAHAHAHAHAH-*gag* *choke*  
  
*Qulox attempts to give him the Hiemlich, but he can't reach all the way around the Hutt*  
  
Farkus: *sputter* *cough* *he falls down dead*  
  
VACA: An interesting way to go, especially for a Sith lord...  
  
Ssi-Ruuvii: Ah man, there goes my payment! I stole this Star Destroyer for nothing! ... Oh well, prepare the prisoners for entechment!  
  
Cat: By the way, you do know I'm part of Galactic Police, right?  
  
DG: Since when?  
  
Cat: *Whispers to good guys* Since this instant, now pipe down! *Returns gaze to Ssi-Ruuvii* Now, the museum you stole this from wants it back. Now.  
  
Ssi-Ruuvii: Nice try. I stole it from the Neo Imperials.  
  
DG: Who are they?  
  
VACA: Neo Imperials are those who survived the Galactic War and are now trying to revive the way of the Emperor.  
  
DG: Great. Say, Qulox, there are supposed to always be two Sith. Where's the other one?  
  
Cat: And weren't you the apprentice? Doesn't that mean that you shouldn't exist?  
  
Qulox: Well, um... uh... I'm gone. Adios. *Disappears while DG sneaks the script away from Jango*  
  
DG: Hey, Jango, missing something? And by the way, what does entechment mean?  
  
VACA: Entechment. A horrible process practiced by the Ssi-Ruuk in which the victim's life energy--their very soul--is trapped inside a weapon/droid/device, acting as its energy source.  
  
Boba: What?! NOOOOO!!!!! I will never let them entech my VACA!!!! I had no idea this would happen! *pulls out blaster, starts firing*  
  
Jango: *look of horror* Boba...my son...you actually...?  
  
Boba: Yeah dad, I like VACA. *aims blaster at Jango* What are you going to do about it?  
  
Jango: THIS! *punches Boba, he sprawls unconscious on the floor*  
  
VACA: 0_0;;  
  
Jango: That traitor...*turns to Ssi-Ruuvi* General Raallikk, it's time your paddle beamers got an energy recharge. *turns to the prisoners with an evil smile*  
  
*Ssi-Ruuvi appear and drag the prisoners to the entechment lab*  
  
Raallikk: *points to Boba* What about him, sir?  
  
Jango: *carts Boba to the entechment lab* He'll pay the price for disobeying his master.  
  
DG: Master? I thought you were his dad!  
  
Jango: Master, father. In the Star Wars universe it's all the same.  
  
Cat: He's gotcha there.  
  
DG: Shadup.  
  
VACA: Okay, I don't like Boba, but I don't want anyone's soul taken away.  
  
DG: Except maybe Jango and Raallikk. Do Ssi-Ruuvii have a thing for the same letter twice in a row in their names?  
  
Ani: I guess so.  
  
VACA: *Lightbulb lights up over her head* Hey, Cat. Boba told me Jango is a major Beezlebumon supporter.  
  
Cat: *Becomes bloodthirsty for Jango Fett flesh and attacks him*  
  
DG: Nice idea.  
  
VACA: Thank you.  
  
George Lucas: *pops up* Hey, I thought I gave you a warning...  
  
VACA: Can't you see that the Beelzebumon are a species?  
  
Lucas: Oh please. *pops back out*  
  
Han: So much for Boba's plan...*stares at Boba's unconscious form on the floor* Attack!!!  
  
*everyone attacks except for VACA*  
  
VACA: *kneels by Boba and attempts to wake him up by punching him a few times*  
  
Boba: *opens his eyes* VACA, my angel! You've rescued me from a horrible fate!  
  
VACA: Shut up. We need your firepower. Get out there and start shooting.  
  
Leia: *while battling several Ssi-Ruuk* You know, her excuses get more and  
  
more pathetic...  
  
*when the dust clears, the lab is destroyed and all the Ssi-Ruuk are dead-- but Jango isn't*  
  
VACA: What? Jango's not dead?! Why not?! :(  
  
*you'll see*  
  
VACA: *mumble grumble* Where is he? Lemme at him! *swings lightsaber around*  
  
DG: Who's dictating this, anyway?  
  
Cat: Let's hope it's our future selves.  
  
VACA: Leia, one more crack like that, and you're not going to like your birthday present.  
  
DG: We need back-up. *Presses a button on a wrist communicator* CPU-DG-five- five. *Nothing happens and Leia stands around looking annoyed until a rumbling occurs*  
  
VACA: *Panicy* What's that?  
  
DG: *Calmy* The calvary.  
  
VACA: 0_0 What kind of calvary?  
  
*More dust*  
  
Leia: The Gungan Grand Army...whoo.  
  
Ani: Ok VACA, this is really out of continuum, isn't it? *looks around, VACA is no where to be seen* VACA?  
  
Luke: Hey, where's VACA?  
  
*Mo you really want to know?*  
  
All: YES!  
  
*look over there*  
  
All: *look over to the Slave 1, where a struggling, cursing VACA is being loaded into the hold by Jango*  
  
Boba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*told ya*  
  
General Jar Jar: CHARGE!!!!!  
  
*the Slave 1 takes off*  
  
*Leia activates the magwall just before the Grand Army goes over the edge into space*  
  
Leia: That was stupid.  
  
Han: I really hope our future selves are writing this.  
  
*I do too*  
  
All: O_o;;  
  
DG: Funny, I had been planning a different calvery...  
  
Cat: Yeah, but then Lucas would really be upset.  
  
DG: True. *Presses another button and the Jadzia arrives*  
  
Cat: How do you plan this stuff?  
  
DG: I read ahead in the script.  
  
Rest: *Anime fall*  
  
Cat: So, how does it end?  
  
DG: It hasn't been written.  
  
Leia: Is it just me, or is this plot terribly embroiled?  
  
Han: I mean, you got cross-referencing from different movies, trilogies, and even different dimensions, love, kidnap, what else could go wrong?*Luke's comlink turns on*  
  
Jango: Boba, I have your girlfriend-  
  
VACA: I am not his girlfriend you sleemo! *sound of a kick and a grunt from Jango*  
  
Jango: Boba, you had better turn everyone over or VACA will die a most painful death.  
  
VACA: What?! You can't do this to me! *another kick*  
  
Jango: And the sooner I kill her, the better...oy...*comlink turns off*  
  
Boba: ... ... ... I know what I have to do...and believe me, it's not going to be easy...  
  
DG: I don't know who'll die first; VACA or Jango.  
  
Cat: Isn't it funny how we keep getting dead guys here?  
  
DG: I know. First we have Boba, then Qui-Gon 'Drool' *Looks at the floating, drooling Jedi master who's drool is now making Coruscant an underwater planet* and now Jango.  
  
Ani: DG, that was a spoiler.  
  
DG: Who cares?  
  
Siri: Lucas. *All look over at a fuming George Lucas who just realized that there was another cross reference eariler*  
  
Lucas: What is wrong with you people? This is supposed to be a Star Wars fiction!  
  
Cat: Uh, George? You do realize that no one cares. As long as I'm wearing this outfit, you're gettin' more readers than ever.  
  
*the Slave 1 drops out of nowhere*  
  
Han: *pulls out his blaster* Look out!  
  
VACA: Han, chill. *VACA lands the Slave 1*  
  
Boba: *googly eyes* Ah, I knew the love of my life would defeat her captor!  
  
VACA: Darn right. That idiot couldn't even see a lightsaber coming at him.  
  
Lucas: But--in Attack of the Clones--  
  
Leia: George, just sit down and enjoy the story.  
  
VACA: *drags Jango's dead body out of the Slave 1* Here's your dad back, Boba.  
  
Boba: Oh, any gift my VACA gives me is wonderful! ^_______^  
  
VACA: *rolls her eyes*  
  
Lucas: Boba, what's gotten into you?! You've fallen for a girl!  
  
Boba: Isn't she lovely?  
  
Lucas: No! I demand you get back out of love! You have bounty hunting and evil stuff to do!  
  
Boba: I no longer wish to do those things...they're a part of my past...and VACA is my future...  
  
VACA: *punches him* Oh get over me man! *to Lucas* Sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands.  
  
Siri: VACA, why are you always agreeing that you're ugly?  
  
VACA: Because I am! I hate this stupid human body! I want to be Pho Ph'eanian again! :(  
  
Lucas: You want to be a what?  
  
VACA: ...Never mind, long story. *VACA recieves a myterious transmission* Uh-oh...  
  
All: WHAT?!  
  
VACA: It's the Ssi-ruuvi army. They're coming to invade Coruscant.  
  
DG: So, they want to invade Coruscant? *Looks around* Hope they can swim.  
  
VACA: Ooh! Give me that! *takes the script from Boba, who took it from his dead father's hands*  
  
*VACA writes something in the script, Qui-Gon is better and Coruscant is back to normal*  
  
*Ssi-ruuvi capital ships appear on the horizon*  
  
Luke: Everyone, to arms!*they rush back to the garage**everyone boards their respective ships*  
  
VACA: Uhh...*looks around frantically for a ship*  
  
Boba: *points to the Slave 1*  
  
VACA: *kicks him*  
  
*the Outrider lands*  
  
Leebo: VACA, you are cleared for entry! Dash requested you as his second gunner!  
  
Leia: Here goes nothing! I've alerted Mon Mothma and Ackbar; they should be here with the Mon Cal Cruisers any time now.  
  
VACA: *leaps into the Outrider* It's time to kick alien butt!  
  
DG: Siri, take Gun one! Cat, number two! Ani, you've got piloting duties.  
  
Ani: This is what I get for boasting about my piloting skills.  
  
Cat: Shadup and start flying.  
  
Siri: DG, what are you controlling?  
  
DG: Gun three.  
  
Siri: *:rolleyes* Of course.  
  
Ani: What's our course?  
  
Han: If you four are done quarreling over there, we'd like to fight!  
  
DG: Oh, yeah.  
  
Cat: Silly us.  
  
*the Ssi-ruuvi capital ships release fighters*  
  
Dash: Hey wait! Those are TIE fighters!  
  
VACA: Hehe...the Ssi-ruuvi don't normally use fighters...I had to think up something. Besides, they're easy.  
  
*TIE Interceptors come out*  
  
Han: Spoke a little too soon.  
  
Dash: Ok, since Han and I have the most versatile ships, we'll go in and destroy the capital ships. The rest of you, work on covering us and take out those TIEs! Leebo, fly us up to the bridge!  
  
Leebo: Yes, sir!  
  
*the Millennium Falcon and the Outrider fly up to one of the Star Destroyers'-*  
  
Luke: Star Destroyers? They're Ssi-ruuvi, not the Empire.  
  
VACA: Just think of it as being a replay of Endor. I forgot what Ssi-ruuvi capital ships look like.  
  
Leia: As far as I can remember, Ssi-ruuvi don't HAVE capital ships.  
  
VACA: See? Problem solved.  
  
Dash: VACA, go for the shield generators!  
  
*VACA destroys the shield generators*  
  
VACA: It's funny, they don't shield the shield generators.  
  
Han: Ssi-ruuvi are lousy pilots. *takes down a few TIEs* And even lousier fighters.  
  
Raallikk: All right, all right! I'll give!  
  
DG: What'd ya'll say? We let 'em live?  
  
VACA: I don't know.  
  
Cat: I say give him *BLEEP*! *Everyone stares at Cat*  
  
DG: Censors catch everything.  
  
Siri: I'll say.  
  
Cat: Just let me at him! :)  
  
Ani: We got a nutso woman over here!  
  
Siri: Hey!  
  
DG: Not you; Cat!  
  
Cat: Hey, VACA killed Jango, I wanted to kill Jango about putting me in dis dress, so I'll kill his business associate.  
  
Han: Logical. Flawed logic, but logical.  
  
Leia: Look who's talking.  
  
Cat: Everybody attack Raallikk's ship! *everyone charges*  
  
Boba: VACA, I just wanted you to know that if I die in this battle, I've always wanted to--*VACA shuts the comlink off*  
  
VACA: Why didn't I turn that thing off before...? Oh well.  
  
Leebo! Ah! Captain, we're being drawn into the Star Destroyer's docking bay!  
  
Dash: Well, we'll just have to break FREE! *shoots one of the beam emitters*  
  
VACA: I've got the other one! *shoots it*  
  
Leebo: That was almost disastrous! Phew!  
  
VACA: We almost pulled a Leia there! :b  
  
Leia: HEY! That's not funny!*everyone can hear muffled sounds of laughter from the Millennium Falcon*  
  
Han: You're--right--not--funny--*fades out*  
  
All: -_-;;  
  
Siri: Anyone notice that Raallikk hasn't opened fire at all?  
  
VACA: All the better to defeat him. Duh. Besides, he's on that ship by himself.  
  
Luke: So, how do we destroy the Star Destroyer?  
  
VACA: I dunno, just start shooting at it.  
  
Han: Works for me.  
  
DG: We're all clear from a Shockwave zone. Now let's light this candle and go home!  
  
Han: That's my line. *Shrugs and everyone fires*  
  
Raallikk: No! *Presses the red button*  
  
VACA: What's so important about red buttons?  
  
Cat: In the movies it always does something.  
  
VACA: Oh. *As this is going on, a ship that resembles Slave I flies in, only the green parts are pink*  
  
Boba: The Slave II?  
  
Cat: I'm guessing you know it?  
  
Boba: It belongs to my sister.  
  
Ani: How big of a family does this guy have, anyway?  
  
Everyone else except Boba: Too big!  
  
VACA: *chants* Shoot-out! Shoot-out!  
  
Boba: But--she's my sister--  
  
Cat: Don't care. Kill her.  
  
Ani: Wow, she's been especially vicious this story.  
  
Siri: You would be too, if some 40-year-old made you dress like Brittany Spears.  
  
Ani: Good point.  
  
Cat: *starts firing*  
  
Rarka Fett: Hey, what the heck do you think you're doing?  
  
Boba: Rarka? It really is you.  
  
Rarka: Boba? Sorry, but I'm going to have to destroy you too--you sympathizer!  
  
Boba: What?!  
  
Rarka: You heard me. Didn't think I read the script, eh? You'll never make it as a bounty hunter. You're too soft.  
  
Boba: SOFT?! I'LL SHOW YOU SOFT! *launches all his missiles at once*  
  
Rarka: *escapes into hyperspace*  
  
Raallikk: Hey, where are you going? You're supposed to destroy them!  
  
Rarka: I'll be back.  
  
VACA: ... ... ...Ok, let's blow him up now.  
  
Han: Don't you know any fancy space lingo?  
  
VACA: ??  
  
Han: You know, like "Let's light this candle and go home"?  
  
VACA: ...No.  
  
Han: Just checking.  
  
VACA: We got eyeballs at the port, 30 degrees and they're coming in faster than a sando aqua!  
  
Han: *anime fall*  
  
Ani: Ok, Basic please.  
  
VACA: We're being attacked by TIEs.  
  
Siri: Simple enough.  
  
DG: Boba, you got a weird family.  
  
Boba: I know. Blame Lucas for dad.  
  
Cat: :)  
  
DG: Boba, crash course in 'Dealing With Cat' 101: Never give her ideas.  
  
Raallikk: Uh, where'd my TIEs go?  
  
Siri: Did you check the closet?  
  
Ani: Wrong ties. *Ani then points to VACA and Han's ships which are floating in a debris feild*  
  
VACA: Cat, he's all yours.  
  
Cat: :) :) :) :) *Blasts the Star Destroyer and destroys it*  
  
Han: Whooooo! They sure don't make 'em like they used to!  
  
VACA: I'll say.  
  
VACA: Wow, that was great. Great battle, guys.  
  
Dash: Couldn't have done it without you.  
  
Boba: Hey! What are you trying to say?! :(  
  
VACA: Dude, chill, we're just old friends.  
  
Ani: Well, I guess there's nothing left to do.  
  
VACA: Yeah...it's time to head home, everybody.  
  
Boba: Wait, we haven't had the kiss scene yet!  
  
VACA: And we never will.  
  
Rarka: I'm baaaaack!  
  
Han: Ok, maybe we aren't heading home yet.  
  
DG: Yeah, I wondered what happened to her.  
  
Cat: *Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry evil grin*  
  
Rarka: Oh, has Dad's outfit annoyed the rainbow-head?  
  
Cat: *Hair bursts into flames*  
  
Rarka: Oh, am I flamming you? *Bursts out into laughter*  
  
DG: Good thing she hasn't taken 'Dealing With Cat' 101.  
  
Rarka: Ta ta! *Ship vanishes*  
  
VACA: What, that's it?  
  
DG: We have to save something for the sequal.  
  
VACA: Well...everybody, let's go home. *And just like that, our heroes return to the New Republic, another evil  
  
vanquished...until next time*  
  
Boba: Will we have a kiss scene in the sequel?  
  
*Not on your life* 


End file.
